'What’s The Difference Between A Human And A Toaster?' Asks One Of Nine Most Powerful People In Country
How many justices does it take to rule whether a light bulb needs replacing?
The Babylon Bee: 'What’s The Difference Between A Human And A Toaster?' Asks One Of Nine Most Powerful People In Country U.S
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor, one of the most powerful people in American politics, has been getting philosophical lately as she contemplates the difference between a human being and a malfunctioning toaster. The question first arose last week when she heard oral arguments for a national vaccine mandate, but in the days since, the question has consumed her.
"Like, seriously, what is the difference?" she said to her fellow justices. "Malfunctioning toasters that spew sparks don't have human rights, so why should humans?"
"I think..." said Justice Alito while stroking his chin, "it's because human rights are only for humans. And humans are special somehow, but I forget why."
"It's like asking the difference between an ice-cold beer and a bottle of red wine," added Justice Kavanaugh as he pounded a few brewskis. "The answer is in the question."