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World In Panic As Science Announces Retirement

re: The Babylon Bee

Hand-appointed successor?

World In Panic As Science Announces Retirement

2022-08-22

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The entire world is in a panic this morning at the news that Dr. Fauci, the living embodiment of science itself, will be retiring in December. The scientific community is already announcing mass resignations now that the High Priest and the mediator between mankind and the laws of nature will be gone. Experts are predicting a dangerous rise in superstition, divination, and Twitter misinformation without the wise and infallible words of Fauci there to guide humanity toward safety and ultimate perfection.

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WIND: whack-a-mole.

But things are really improving: Supreme Court Rules That Urinals With No Dividers Are Unconstitutional, though not everything is going well.

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